Caution: Curveball ahead!

So my boss is a pretty cool guy, but he's pretty quiet and keeps to himself. I'm normally one that can get people to open up and just in general people seem to like me, well except my ex-mother-in-law (that's another time and story though.) So over the last 6'ish months I've been wracking my brain on why in the hell I can't get him to act more relaxed and down to earth with me. Then one day maybe two weeks ago BAM! Cool Boss comes out. It was awesome! He jokes around and just seems more comfortable. Well yesterday one of the guys I work with comes looking for the managers and I tell him they're in a meeting, he says "They're STILL in that restructure meeting?!" I had no idea, but restructure! That's some bad shit right there! All the managers come out looking all pissed off...great... and Cool Boss (CB) says "Hey Amber, can I see you in my office for a minute?"   F M L   I head in and he's all like oh wait finish what you're working on, and I need to hop on a call, but definitely see me before you leave.   F M L  Ok panic mode! But wait!! I can't be fired! I'm awesome! and if anyone deserves to be fired, it's angry/complainer lady! Anyway I'm working away and he calls me back in to his office and he's all "Oh the call might run until after 4:30, so I'll talk to you now" Then he tells me that's there's going to be some change here, and there's some spots coming open ... F M L... "There's going to be a couple Purchasing spots, and Production Control spots coming open, and while you do a great job at your desk, I think we know your talent is being wasted answering phones and the other things there" O M G! I'M NOT FIRED & YOU WANT TO PROMOTE ME?! YESSSSSSS!!! He essentially told me to apply for one of the spots, no resume needed or anything! Talk about a game changer! Either one of the spots (though I'd like the purchasing spot) will be a $3-4 /hr pay raise! w00t! That's gonna help pay for my new truck!

 I LOVE LOVE LOVE her but she's a Money Sucker

 I'm super excited, and so is Junior! CB wouldn't tell me when all of this is going down, but he did say sooner rather then later. I'm totally hoping for next month! That would be fantastic. Luckily I'm the person that has to turn in ID Cards and Badges so I'll know pretty quick when the other people are let go. Sad for them I know, but yay for me!

Lets talk about Losing Weight and Healthy Eating, Or the lack there of it!

Ok so we all know about that special lady that irritates me on daily basis at work, right? Ok well  she's been on this "I need to lose weight" kick for like, ever. Seriously, since I've been there (started late November 2011) she's lost 10 lbs. A few weeks ago, I noticed that my pants were getting a little tighter than I'd like so I decided to start back at the gym and watching what I eat a little more. Since I've been doing this it's dawned on me that she's never going to lose more weight, and here's why:
   1. She goes to Curves (24mo contract...ouch) and she's done with her "work out" within 30 minutes. I get that you can totally do a 30 minute work out, but when someone complains their knee hurts walking from their desk to the bathroom?? and I've discovered that the most she's ever done on the elliptical is 30 min?? I seriously doubt that's effective.
    2. You should see this woman eat! Today she goes for a "Healthy" lunch to Denny's (??) for a salad. I just finished looking up the calories and fat content. (I hope you're sitting down) 490 Calories...IN A SALAD! Not counting the soda and Skinny Cow candy bar she had with it! Now I'm not a vision of health but WOW. For lunch I had a turkey sandwich, ruffles baked chips, 1/2 of a king size snickers and a bottle of water, all for a whopping 364 calories! Later, I will also have a few Hershey's drops and some soy nuts and maybe a Mt. Dew and I'll be just 20 calories over what she had, just for lunch! Tomorrow my guess (after seeing her trends) is she'll go to Wendy's and get a salad and a baked potato (660 Calories if she get's the 1/2 salad) At that point just get the fried chicken sandwich it's only 40 more calories and I bet it's WAY more filling.
   3. She will be "bad" at work and go over her calories for the day...how is THAT even possible... and then she'll say "Well I guess I cant eat anything else for the day" Yeah it's 2pm I don't see that shit happening.
   I just really don't get people. Everyone says that they want to lose weight and then they do nothing to help themselves, so then obviously complaining about it will help right?!
   As for me, I can't say that I'm really upset about the slight weight gain I'm having. When I was super unhappy in Wisconsin I was dropping weight like no tomorrow. Eff that! I'm happier now then I have been in a really, really long time so I'll take Size 6/8 Happy Amber over Size 4/6 Miserable Amber any day!

Slow it down there missy!

   How many of your friends are getting engaged? Married? Having babies? Yeah all of mine too! Being with Junior, living with him, being so loved by him, that's what I think about... When are we going to get engaged!? Then I give my self a mental bitch slap and think "Why, dear, are you in such a hurry?"
   Aside from a ring on my finger and the state of Tennessee taking all of our money as Mr. and Mrs. we're as good as and when I remember that, I'm cool. There is also that little thing about me only being divorced for 4 months! (Slow it down there missy!) I feel like I'm doing a great job pushing my ex completely out of my mind and life. It feels WAY longer than 4 months!
    I don't need a ring and a sheet of (very expensive) paper to feel like I do now. Coming from me that surprises the hell out of me! I'm very ashamed to admit to my (1-2) readers that I'm all about the pretty and material things...within reason! I can't help it though!
   The love I feel for Junior when he's sitting next to me on the couch and we're eating dinner, when we're folding laundry, when he's sitting in the car behind me and I see him in the rear view, or when he walks up behind me when I'm cooking dinner, kisses me and says, "Thank You" fills my heart almost to the bursting point.
   Cohabitating, engaged or married it doesn't matter all I need is what I have right now. Anything extra would just be a bonus! He's not going anywhere and neither am I! So now I just need to give myself that little weekly pep talk when I see my friends all doing those "fun" things. The time will come when he's ready and when I'm truly ready too!

So, this is love? I never knew before him

You damn lying receptionist!

So yesterday after my THREE Hours in the dental chair for my root canal I got quite the surprise. Let's back track a little bit here.
   Last week when I went in for my initial appointment to complain about my sore tooth they weren't sure I needed a root canal. I had a lovely cavity that was pretty close to the nerve and the chances were slim that he could just do a filling, but I was assured that when I checked out they would do a "worst case scenario" bill work up for me. So when I went to check out after my cleaning (LOVE IT!) the receptionist lady took my insurance info and told me that I would owe them a whopping $570 on my next visit! Although if I made it in Tuesday they would take $100 off for "customer appreciation day" umm yeah, sign me up please!
   They called me Monday and asked if I could come in early as they scheduled my appointment too short. I agreed and on Tuesday I left work early, so excited for my tooth to be fixed! Obviously when I get there in the chair and he's drilling around, I needed a root canal (he needed to make his truck payment, right? Whatevs, he's really a nice dentist and I like him rather a lot.)
   I sat there for 3 freaking hours with my mouth wide open and drool running all over because of that damn dental dam, finally I'm released with my instructions (no Snickers for 3 weeks! O.M.G.) and my dosage info for Motrin. Heading up to the receptionist I start getting my wallet out for my payment when I hear the words "Ok Miss Holt it looks like your portion is $981.81" ...SKIIIIIR WHAT?! After I told her she must be mistaken, that I was quoted just 6 days ago that my "Worst Case Scenario" was $570 minus $100 for letting him drill in my head for 3 freaking hours. She pulls up my quote and says "Oh it looks like they didn't put in the root canal for the estimate"  WHAT! THE! FUCK? This is not the kind of surprise when you're sore, chubby from Novocaine, and tired from waking up at 5:30! What can you do though? I just handed over my Care Credit info and she charged $881.81 (don't forget my customer appreciation discount!)
   Head hanging low I headed to the house to be consoled by Junior. 2.5 hours later I was still numb in my cheek and absolutely starving, I decided that I needed to eat something or else I was going to DIE. I made some skillet potatoes, nice and soft, with little chance of me biting a hole in my cheek. Not long after that I gave Junior the sad face and asked him to take me to bed. I woke up this morning not too sore, just a bit where I took the shots in the cheek and my jaw from being open for 3 hours straight.
   There is a snickers bar in my desk drawer. I want it. I will however resist the urge, until at least tomorrow. I figure 24 hours to set the temp crown should be plenty. F-U-C-K giving up Snickers/Doritos/Mt. Dew it's not happening!

Am I being punished?

   I was in Florida for the weekend with Mom. She is a wedding florist, and in January she booked 4 weddings in one day in 4 locations, so she asked if I wanted to come and earn a few extra bucks and gas money? Ummm yes please! Money and quality hang time with the family, love it! I did over do it a bit though carrying bistro tables up a hill. I mean, who wants to make 3 trips? Not I friends, not I.
   Anyway back to my point I had a super weekend with the family, and came home to Junior (there isn't much better than seeing his face after being away from him all weekend) all in all it's lovely. Yesterday was an average day nothing to note other than the DOWNPOUR that not only flooded the streets, but also cleaned the bugs off my truck..win! But today, seriously it's like I'm being punished for having a wonderful weekend, and having friends come see me this weekend. Everyone in my office has something shoved up their ass, sideways, with spikes.
   It's like nothing can go right for the lady that sits behind me. She came in late (again...blah blah physical therapy...blah blah) and hasn't stopped bitching since 9am. I'm on the verge of taking a tube light bulb to my eye. So that I can leave early.

  See the light bulb there next to "Beyonce"

  
   If that's not enough, I have approximately 18 minutes until I have to leave for my root canal! This is so unfair! I guess if I have to deal with this crap for 2 days, this weekend has to come back at me 100% better right?! Let's hope!

What makes you think you're so entitled?! I mean really?

What is wrong with people? Really though what. the. hell. is wrong with people today? I am not here to cater to you, to your wife, to your children. I am here to do what is in my job description and what my boss asks me to do, yeah that's about it. I'm real sick of people, at work specifically, thinking firstly that they don't need to clean up after themselves. I don't have children at my house as I have chosen not too, so I don't clean up after kids at home, you can damn sure bet that I'm not cleaning up after gown adults at work. I'm BY FAR the youngest person in my office and I'm fairly certain the one with the most common sense!
Secondly when I plan an event (yes that's in my job description) and we are willing to pay to feed you, get you drunk and entertain you DO NOT complain, seriously don't effing do it. When we take you to the best pizza/beer place in town, organize an all you can eat buffet with different types of pizza and pasta and provide you a free bar tab and you feel the need to complain that "tomato sauce gives you heartburn" or "my wife needs something gluten free" that's too freaking bad! Eat before you come or here's a better idea, don't come...Please. Here's where I come from: I am one of the most picky people ON THE PLANET. I know when I go to an outing or get together there's a pretty huge chance that I'm not going to like what is provided to me, so 9 times outta 10 I'm going to eat before I go. Also I don't drink much, but I love me some screwdrivers. Beer though? Yea not so much, so if you don't have vodka (I'm not greedy I'll drink well) and some OJ, guess what? I'll take an ice water (not one of them fancy bottles) some tap water and ice. Water sustains life! When we have a pot luck at work, no thanks! I'll bring my lunch (seriously people are super gross! If you can't wash your hands at work where people can see you walk outta the bathroom, what are you doing in the privacy of your own home while preparing food?) and I won't even complain that everyone else gets some tasty (I use that term loosely) treats and I get a bologna sandwich and some Doritos from home.
When did things take such a turn for the worse? The army has this saying "a kinder more gentler army" that's total bullshit and it's rubbing off on everyone here. Kinder and gentler gets you beat up. Kinder and gentler turns you soft. Toughen up people seriously. Act like you're a competent human being. I'm super tired of wiping your ass, that's not what I get paid for.
Then off in another total direction I am going to smack a bitch (again) if people don't stop complaining about shit that I can't control!

<3 Ok I'm done with the hate! In my defense though I've had this post partially done since last Wednesday so I've been on material over load.

Free! To Good Home! **Update**

So I always hear people talking about how their cats are such characters. My cat Lola is an adorable little Tortoise Shell.

Proof:

 My Lola when she was a baby..Awwww

 She loves Coach too!

She wasn't much of a character until recently... She was a rescue when I was living in Wisconsin at the time with my ex-husband. Our marriage wasn't great so we adopted Lola, kinda I think to give me someone else to have there to keep me company. She's the most adorable thing I swear. Like all cats though she can be such a spaz. When I moved her from WI to FL she did awesome on the 16 hour car ride. She sat still and quiet in her carrier for 8 hours a day, we smuggled her into hotel rooms and let her roam and use the litter box. When we got to Florida her pattern of shit behavior started. I left her with my Dad (at his house, where I was moving back to) in Florida while me and Mom flew to Utah to visit family. We were gone 2 days when Dad called and said that Lola had pee'd on my pillow. Ok, I get it you're mad I left you in a new place after we'd only been there 2 days, I'm sorry! Fast forward a few months and I decide to move to TN. After a month of me being there I go back to Florida and bring the animals to TN. We're there several weeks and I decide to pop down to Florida for the weekend. I leave Lola out plenty of food and a big thing of water. I get back a couple days later and there is pee everywhere on the guest bedroom bed! ARGH I left you alone again...I get it you don't like that but you  need to get over that shit! I now have a cat sitter for when I go out of town (stop laughing) who has to have a cat sitter for 2 day trips?! Me!

The ultimate sin though? That happened this morning. It's Monday, obviously I'm running late! I shower, get dressed, blah blah you know the routine, make lunch and I'm ready to head out the door. Pop back into my dressing room and grab my heels and what do I see? ...

ARE. YOU. EFFING. KIDDING.

Yeah those are my less than a year old Sperry's and my pristine white Puma's that I take such good care of! LOOK HOW WHITE THEY ARE!! That bitch is going to die. Here's the worst part I was late, as I said and it's not like I can call my boss and be like "Hai, so my cat puked on my most favorite and also expensive shoes, so I need to be late today so I can clean them up" He'd be like " ... uhh .... get to work!" So there they sit, in my closet, with cat puke on them until I get home from work tonight. It's not going to be a pretty situation when lock her in the room with me while I clean them and scream at her. Wooooosaaaaa...so not working. Anyone want a cat?

***************UPDATE**********************

Officially I have the best boyfriend on the planet! When I finally made it home from the gym the other night, I walked in and Junior told me that he didn't fully clean my shoes as he didn't want to hurt them. He did however clean up all of the cat puke from the carpet and off/out of my shoes. Also cat puke does indeed stain white pumas.