Tuesday, January 3, 2012

The "Fill ya in" post

This was written the first few days of January but I forgot all about it, so here it is. Kind of everything that happened to me from there to here.

So who thought a year could be so CRAZY?!I started 2011 in Wisconsin. Working at Best Buy in Janesville, was the absolute worst thing that could have ever happened to me. I lost 25 pounds working there.. Yay, right?! Yeah, how about no! I have learned stress induced weight loss is pretty bad. For 13 months..Ok not 13 cause the first few months I was there I thought it was great, so for like 9 months or so I tried my damnedest 5 days a week (and phone calls on my days off) to keep my head above water at Best Buy. It was a BATTLE everyday there to make it though each day. I reflected daily on my one hour drive home on how awful it was there. My team was struggling also. Granted we were doing significantly better than the business did the previous year, but that didn't seem to matter to anyone except me! So each day I tried to get my team motivated and help them keep afloat. I lost several team members while I was there, and not because of me, but because of the leadership team at that store. So while all of this was going on at work, there was something also going on behind the scenes at home... My marriage was falling apart. I didn't realize that I was leaning on other things to help me get through instead of Brian. I was leaning on internet friends and a computer game. He was busy at work and surely didn't want to hear me bitching about work, AGAIN so I kept it to myself. What a bad idea. Midyear Brian and I had a conversation about everything that had been going on the past year. We decided that it's wasn't one either of our fault but it was our fault together that this marriage was failing and miserably. We decided that it was best that I move to Florida and work on myself and he could do the same. In the few months I was there I came to realize that our marriage was broken, and from my perspective that it couldn't be fixed. I think when I left for Florida it was pretty clear to him that it was through too. So in November I filed the papers to dissolve our marriage. This was something I had been thinking about since early September, but the courage it takes to walk into that courthouse and get those papers was something I didn't have until then. I decided that it was time to start a new chapter in my life and allow him to do the same, with hopes that he could find someone or something to fill his life better than I could have. Mid October I went to Tennessee to visit friends, and as I sat out back on Bob's deck talking about the last few months and the last year with them everything became very very clear to me... I needed to be back in Tennessee. That was where I belonged. So I started looking for a job. Had some friends send out my resume, and the first week in November I had a job lined up working back on the compound that I had left a very short 16 months ago. I knew things were going to work out.

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