Thursday, November 1, 2012

Halloween is Stupid

I don't get it. Really I just don't! How can people say "Halloween is my favorite holiday!!!!!" Umm...??...??? So at best you get to dress your house up scary, sit in a chair, still, so you can scare the crap out of kids coming for candy. Or dress up your kids, let them go get candy and then they get a sugar rush for the next week, that is unless you start eating candy too and you gain 5 lbs. How is that fun?
I remember being a kid in Utah bundling up tight cause some times it was snowing on Halloween and trekking through Stockton to get a boat load of candy. I loved that, I really did! I don't really remember starting to hate Halloween. I think I started to dislike it in middle school, when I stopped dressing up and collecting my candy. In high school I think we had to dress up, for school spirit as cheerleaders, but that was the extent of it.
I think my actual hatred for it was in college and people started dressing as skanky slut kittens, bunnies, etc. It's not even that I was jealous. In college I was 5'9" Size 4 I guess it's just that I respect myself too much to flaunt my shit all over.
Last night as promised Junior and I went to early vote, ate some Mexican, and came home to hide out in the basement. We watched tv, and shuttered when the dog needed to go outside. The stupid motion light kept coming on!! DO NOT ATTRACT CHILDREN DUKE! Oh just bark at them, well done. No one's coming within 50 of my backyard with a 120lb rottweiler barking.
Now that Halloween is over, lets bring on the REAL holidays! Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years! I can't wait! Just 25 days and its time to start decorating the house for Christmas!

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Holy shit October is over...and my soul died a little last night.

So who else has been SICK as fuck over the last week? Last Tuesday and Wednesday I'm pretty sure I descended to the lower levels of hell on earth. Thursday, Friday and Saturday I decided sleeping was for pansies and then Sunday I slept for 11 hours. I feel a lot better this week, but I'm still coughing and congested.
"Amoxicillin, we talked about this and you're gonna 
make me feel better BEFORE the 10 days was up."

 Anyway so we've been working on redoing our downstairs laundry room / bathroom. Junior tried to get me to not work when I was ill, but let's just be real, not gonna happen. On Tuesday I cleaned out the bathroom/laundry room so that we could start the project. Mind you it look me 3 hours instead of the 20 minutes it should have, but whatev's it got done while he was at work.

Look at that shit. 1980's straight case you can't tell that WHOLE shower is tiled, and can't be changed (easily) so avert your eyes.

So we thought this little project would take us the week. Tuesday to Sunday. Yeah try again it's next Tuesday and we still have about 2 more days of work, plus poor Junior is  building me a cabinet to hide all of our crap in. You know detergent, trashbags, etc. crap you don't want to see, but need in the laundry room.  Last night we attempted to put in the pedestal sink. Attempted because the shit ass plumbing from 30+ years ago just doesn't work with the crap they sell at Lowe's today.  At 8:30 I made Junior leave his tools and all that kind of shit laying in there so he could have at least an hour to himself to enjoy TV and laying on the couch.  I tried to help, I swear, but there's only so much you can help with. Anyway here are the walls painted and the floor redone. I'll get some more pictures up soon.

What a difference a coat of paint and some stick on floor tiles make!
Also, that sink was cast

And on to my soul dying. Before we fought with the sink last night, we cleaned out the boat. We took out all the life jackets, the floating square that makes it legal to drive it in the lake, and all the fun stuff. That's it, the summer is officially over. Junior is taking it to be winterized today.  Begrudgingly bring on the sweaters (oh wait I'm wearing one today) scarves, and boots. Winter is coming.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Are you joking?!

So who remembers my last go at the dentists office? No? Here I'll wait... Ok, glad we're all caught up. So last week my freaking lower back right molar started hurting like a sonofabitch, off to the dentist I go! I called and made an appointment for yesterday (Tuesday) they asked if I wanted all 3 of my problem teeth fixed then...Are you fucking crazy woman? No just fix the one that hurts!
So at 2:00 yesterday I leave work and head to my dentists office. I get checked in and settled in the comfy dental chair, dentist comes in and  looks at my tooth says yep it needs to be fixed asap as I've cracked a filling. At this point we aren't sure if I need a root canal (obviously I will, I ALWAYS DO!) but the tooth that it's next to needs a crown replaced so he says that it's best to do them together so that I can get the right fit, then and there. So I just give up and tell him go ahead, do what you need. He tells me he'll send the patient consultant back, so I check the balance on my effing Care Credit card and see that I have a lovely $2,500 of open credit. Then Erica shows up with some bad, BAD News. Guess who used all of her allowance for the ENTIRE YEAR ON HER LAST VISIT?! Oh, that's right me! ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME? So they have this super scary number drawn up to fix my two teeth without any insurance: $3,1000 .. skiiiiir Stop. Not happening. So I tell her we need to fix this ONE tooth today and that's it. I understand I need to get the rest fixed, but yo, who has $3000 sitting around to use on a tooth?! Not me. She heads back off to speak to dentist man and comes back and tell me that today I can get away with a mere $1900 of work. Meh, no probs, Lets do this! (WHAT THE FUCK...FUCK ME)
So he comes back and starts stabbing me in my cheek, in my gums, IN MY JAW... gotta get me nice and numb so he can earn his money. 3 shots in I make him stop cause 1. that last shot hurt like a motherfucker and 2. I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous. The whole nausea thing was new. In all my days hanging out in the dental office I've never almost passed out. The assistant said I was the 3rd person of the day to act like that. I think they got some jacked up Novocaine! Shortly after I get numb he comes in and starts working, after a bit of drilling guess who doesn't need a root canal?! YAY ME! Though I can't get too excited, he said there's a 50/50 chance after the soreness wears off the tooth might start hurting again, and if so I'll need a root canal! I'm going to keep my fingers crossed! I dont want to give that man $800 more!
Let's cut to last night after I handed my Care Credit card over for $1,100. I'm sitting there on the couch and the Novocaine is starting to wear off. I run to the kitchen and find some Tylenol and throw it back. 10 minutes in hurts pretty bad, 30 minutes in hurts REAL Bad, 40 minutes in I lay down and start crying cause OMG I think my tooth is going to explode. By about 50 minutes in Junior is freaking out, cause I've never let him see me cry, and by God that man loves the shit outta me. Just when I think I can't take it any longer Lola jumps up into the 4 inches of open couch between my curled up legs and chest and soothes me. A few minutes of petting her and thank goodness the Tylenol starts to kick in. Lets be real though, that shit didn't stop it hurting, it just dulled the pain to a barely bearable pain, hey, I'll take what I can get! Junior praised Lola, even when she pukes all over your shoes she is good for some things, and she can live another day. Shortly after that Junior offered to go get me KFC Mashed Potatoes and Gravy (love) and a couple biscuits. After I ate, I downed a couple Aleve passed out on the couch while he watched some crazy show about crashing perfectly good airplanes in the name of research... Guys you need to not sit in First Class, those people die in the test! I know First Class seems fantastic, but lets be real. Don't pay more to die! Coach is the way to go!
Today I woke up sore where he shot me in the jaw and I still can't chew anything (KFC for lunch!) but I'm feeling much better. About 9am the Dentist himself...not his assistant or the receptionist, called to check on me. I'm super impressed with him.
Lessons Learned:
1. Blame bad genes for shit teeth. Here's looking at you Mom. Thanks
2. Make sure your dental insurance doesn't suck ass like mine
3. Take better care of your teeth

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Some days you just know!

This morning when I woke up I thought it was going to be a crap day, but low and behold after my shower and petting Duke for a bit the day looked brighter! On my way to work I decided that today was going to be a great day! I did the old Facebook post "Little after 7am and it feels like its going to be a great day! NO ONE RUIN IT!!" What I wanted to say was "People at work...DON'T RUIN MY GOOD MOOD DAMN YOU!!" and what gets typed 14 seconds after I posted that? " You do know where you're going right?!" Yes, I know exactly where I'm going, and I, unlike you, don't hate coming to work! People like me, I have a generally good disposition, AND my promotion is coming!  

Back to the promotion thing... it's totally happening, and soon! It's so exciting! My boss told me that as long as the interviews go well I will be in my new job August 20th! I can't wait, I just want to be out of the main office building and away from negative lady!
So here's to the rest of a really good day! 

My Duke
Who couldn't love that face?

Monday, July 30, 2012

A year there and back

It's now been 1 year since I packed my apartment, my belongings, my cat and my car and left Wisconsin as a distant memory.

I remember a the day before I left Wisconsin I was packing everything up and getting my car ready for my drive the next day. My (at the time) husband asked why I was loading my car. When I told him I was leaving the next day, he was perplexed...his words were "I thought we had more time" I was SO angered by this! What did he mean "more time" for the last week he stayed out all night, partied with friends, knew I was days from leaving. Did he think one more day, one more dinner was going to fix this broken mess of a marriage we had?  I loaded the last bag, gave him a hug goodbye, got in my car and drove away.

370'ish days later, looking back I should have known at that moment things would never change. I wasted a lot of tears, sleepless nights and health to what I now know was for nothing. When someone doesn't come home from a night of drinking with friends, not once, not twice, but 3 times, it's time. When someone doesn't call to check on you on your 16 hour drive from Wisconsin to Florida, it's time. When someone won't even see you, doesn't want to see you on your 7th marriage anniversary, it's time. It's time to swallow your pride, walk into that court house and put the past in the past. What we could have or should have done is in the past, but it's a lesson that you never forget.

So I guess those tears weren't for nothing, they were for today. They helped make me into the person I am today, they shaped me into the me that I wanted to be.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Weekend Update with Amber

This weekend was pretty great! The Brothers of the Sun Tour was so fun, hot too, but super fun! Saturday we headed to Nashville about noon and didn't leave there until close to midnight. The line up started with Jake Owen (total hottie) and he did a great job on stage!

Then Grace Potter and the Nocturnals (who?!) came out and we promptly went for snacks and drinks! She was not all. After her was Tim McGraw (super hottie) and his set was almost 2 hours and it was A-MA-ZING! He was high energy, entertaining and had great interaction with the crowd!

Then he brought out Faith Hill (O.M.G) and they sang "I need you" It was fantastic!

After Tim was "the headliner"-I use that term loosely, Kenny Chesney. He was ok. His entrance was cool. He popped up out of the sound booth and then flew around the stadium on this little seat that normally has cameras on it during football games.

He sang a few fast paced high energy songs and then that's when it all went south! He came on at 9pm mind you and then started singing a ton of slow I've been out walking in the 95+ degree heat for over 8 hours and you sing slow songs, way to put me to sleep! Luckily at like 11 Tim came back and did some songs with him! Then for the last song they brought everyone back and closed it out right. All in all though, great day! I'd totally do it again.

Thanks Jen, for getting us the tickets!

Now on to a little office humor! I'm not sure if I've talked about this lady in my office that works over in Purchasing who is FUCKING BIPOLAR! She'll yell at you and then 10 minutes later she'll come to your desk and talk to you like nothing happened...skiiiir, what?! No, I don't think so!
Well anyway a few weeks ago for my birthday 3 ladies took me out to lunch, but before we left one of the managers asked if we were taking out my boss for his birthday, but nae, as his favorite place to eat was only open the next day so we were going to take him then, and me today. Well he asked if everyone was going and they told him no that there was just a few of the girls going. So he asked BPB (BiPolarBitch) if she was going and she said no she wasnt invited, and wasn't in our "clique" ... again, if you weren't such a bitch maybe someone would invite you!
Anyway today I get the news that the reason "We don't like" BPB is that we are jealous of how pretty she is ... ... ... Speechless ... ... She then tells the nice lady in purchasing that for an older lady she is still beautiful and people are jealous of her.  Words still escape me.

I made a club for the jealous folk here at the office...

If you're jealous of someone you work with you can totally cut it out also and put it on your desk!

Still...words escape me...I'll just sit here and shake my head.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Sitting at my desk, sitting on the couch...Yep that about sums it up

So for the last week or so there has been ZERO to talk about. When Junior is TDY my life is rather drab and boring. I sit around, watch TV at night, play with Duke and Lola, and not much else. Not to mention that it's about a million degrees, so unless I'm on my way to an air conditioner I'm not going to be hanging about outdoors much.

Oh and next week should be good for posting, as tomorrow I'm headed to the Brothers of the Sun Tour with Tim McGraw/Kenney Chesney, and Junior comes home Wednesday! Woo! Here's to hoping that I don't catch on fire at LP Field tomorrow!

Monday, June 11, 2012

He's the best..No joke!

So Junior came home last night from his TDY trip in Albuquerque (I get him for 6 days, then he leaves again...sad panda) Anyway as I was finishing up dinner he came and handed me a UPS Package, with an apology for not wrapping it, and a card. After I wrastled (yes it's a southern word, shut up) the UPS bag open I found a custom made apron! You can see the original HERE but mine was white with PURPLE GLITTER lettering. I'm totally grilling in it later tonight and posting a picture of our awesomeness later.  Wait though, it gets better! I opened the card and after my rottweiler got done losing his shit at the singing card, I found a gift certificate for a Day at the Spa! OH MY GOD.. An Aveda Essential Facial, One-Hour Elemental Massage, lunch, and choice of an Elemental Hand Treatment or Elemental Foot Treatment. Now just the decision of when to take it!

Ok now on to some more work giggles. So remember last week when I thought I was getting fired, but my boss thinks I'm kinda awesome? Well the other day a manager mentioned that we needed more people in the area that I'm headed to, and the little grumpy lady got super pissed cause no one offered her the option. I turned around and asked her did she mention anything to him? Her response "Whatever I don't care" ... ... Are you effing kidding me?! Here's a couple things she could do to maybe, maybe be considered. 1. Stop bitching when someone asks her to do something out of the norm. 2. Be nicer to people. Not only the people that work with us, but to the 543512346 people that walk in and out of our offices on a daily basis. 3. Stop making 10 doctor appointments per week/ Work 40 hours CONSISTENTLY, not just once a month. 4. When the GM tasks you with something don't bitch out loud about it as his office is within arms reach of your desk. KTHX <3

Monday, June 4, 2012

Weekend Whirlwind

OhmygodI'msofreakingtired! I'm back from Trip #2 to Florida in 3 weeks. Let me tell you how much driving 8 hours alone sucks! I swear I almost committed suicide due to boredom yesterday on my way back home. I can normally take it, no bigs, but driving that many times that close to each other, I'm totally not a fan, and if I can help it, it's not happening for a couple months or without Junior. Duke was with me, but he's not much for keeping me company, and he won't share in the driving! What a jerk, right?
He's real cute though

Anyway... So our weekend started Friday afternoon. We only had one wedding and one prep Friday so it wasn't bad, and I most all the prep work in TN last week so that was awesome! We did chair covers and ties at the Embassy Suites, and we also made fun of peoples shit taste! What the hell are people thinking when they are planning their weddings?!

 It's your wedding, not prom people!

Yeah I tied all those, I love it. Sad, I know.
That tacky purple shell fish bowl concoction wasn't even the worst one of the weekend! Saturday we had apples. Like girl loved apples!!! "OMG I LOVE APPLES"

Back on subject here. So there are my chair covers and ties. After that we had to set up the wedding on the beach. It was so pretty that day! Nice and cool on the water. We delivered some bouquets to the bridal party, dropped some benches off on the water, then had to wait for them to say their I Do's so we could load up and go home. 

 Tables for the reception

We have to entertain ourselves while we wait!

Saturday was a busy, BUSY day! I bet I logged 200 miles on my truck! At 7am we started at the house and then 3 vehicles went 3 ways! I headed to Rosemary Beach (never been? that's sad! It's wonderful) then to pick up vases from the previous nights wedding (btw- the guys are Cafe 30-A are douches) then to Destin for chair ties, then to Eglin AFB for more set up, then back to Destin to unload chairs, then back to Eglin to move chairs around and make sure the room was set to go. I left Eglin at 6:30pm went home for 3 hours for dinner and cake!
Thanks Paul! I love icing up my nose!

Then headed back to Eglin for clean up and chair removal! Our day ended a little after midnight. I know cause Sunday was my birthday and Junior called me at 12:00 exactly to wish me Happy Birthday ( I Love Him) and I was still not home yet!

 How the delivery van started the day!

How it ended the day! 
No flowers + 60 white chairs and misc crap from the day!

 Everyone wants peonies right strange

Room 1 of 2 at Eglin

Room 2 of 2 at Eglin aka My Bloody Valentine wedding
(Don't hate, we can't make Brides make better choices!)

I made some nice money this weekend, got to see the family, celebrated my birthday. Now though, I'm exhausted! I'm taking a nap after work! If I don't, I swear I'll die! Junior is in Albuquerque now for TDY so I get to have another birthday on Sunday! I just hope this one isn't as tiring!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Caution: Curveball ahead!

So my boss is a pretty cool guy, but he's pretty quiet and keeps to himself. I'm normally one that can get people to open up and just in general people seem to like me, well except my ex-mother-in-law (that's another time and story though.) So over the last 6'ish months I've been wracking my brain on why in the hell I can't get him to act more relaxed and down to earth with me. Then one day maybe two weeks ago BAM! Cool Boss comes out. It was awesome! He jokes around and just seems more comfortable. Well yesterday one of the guys I work with comes looking for the managers and I tell him they're in a meeting, he says "They're STILL in that restructure meeting?!" I had no idea, but restructure! That's some bad shit right there! All the managers come out looking all pissed off...great... and Cool Boss (CB) says "Hey Amber, can I see you in my office for a minute?"   F M L   I head in and he's all like oh wait finish what you're working on, and I need to hop on a call, but definitely see me before you leave.   F M L  Ok panic mode! But wait!! I can't be fired! I'm awesome! and if anyone deserves to be fired, it's angry/complainer lady! Anyway I'm working away and he calls me back in to his office and he's all "Oh the call might run until after 4:30, so I'll talk to you now" Then he tells me that's there's going to be some change here, and there's some spots coming open ... F M L... "There's going to be a couple Purchasing spots, and Production Control spots coming open, and while you do a great job at your desk, I think we know your talent is being wasted answering phones and the other things there" O M G! I'M NOT FIRED & YOU WANT TO PROMOTE ME?! YESSSSSSS!!! He essentially told me to apply for one of the spots, no resume needed or anything! Talk about a game changer! Either one of the spots (though I'd like the purchasing spot) will be a $3-4 /hr pay raise! w00t! That's gonna help pay for my new truck!

 I LOVE LOVE LOVE her but she's a Money Sucker

 I'm super excited, and so is Junior! CB wouldn't tell me when all of this is going down, but he did say sooner rather then later. I'm totally hoping for next month! That would be fantastic. Luckily I'm the person that has to turn in ID Cards and Badges so I'll know pretty quick when the other people are let go. Sad for them I know, but yay for me!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Lets talk about Losing Weight and Healthy Eating, Or the lack there of it!

Ok so we all know about that special lady that irritates me on daily basis at work, right? Ok well  she's been on this "I need to lose weight" kick for like, ever. Seriously, since I've been there (started late November 2011) she's lost 10 lbs. A few weeks ago, I noticed that my pants were getting a little tighter than I'd like so I decided to start back at the gym and watching what I eat a little more. Since I've been doing this it's dawned on me that she's never going to lose more weight, and here's why:
   1. She goes to Curves (24mo contract...ouch) and she's done with her "work out" within 30 minutes. I get that you can totally do a 30 minute work out, but when someone complains their knee hurts walking from their desk to the bathroom?? and I've discovered that the most she's ever done on the elliptical is 30 min?? I seriously doubt that's effective.
    2. You should see this woman eat! Today she goes for a "Healthy" lunch to Denny's (??) for a salad. I just finished looking up the calories and fat content. (I hope you're sitting down) 490 Calories...IN A SALAD! Not counting the soda and Skinny Cow candy bar she had with it! Now I'm not a vision of health but WOW. For lunch I had a turkey sandwich, ruffles baked chips, 1/2 of a king size snickers and a bottle of water, all for a whopping 364 calories! Later, I will also have a few Hershey's drops and some soy nuts and maybe a Mt. Dew and I'll be just 20 calories over what she had, just for lunch! Tomorrow my guess (after seeing her trends) is she'll go to Wendy's and get a salad and a baked potato (660 Calories if she get's the 1/2 salad) At that point just get the fried chicken sandwich it's only 40 more calories and I bet it's WAY more filling.
   3. She will be "bad" at work and go over her calories for the is THAT even possible... and then she'll say "Well I guess I cant eat anything else for the day" Yeah it's 2pm I don't see that shit happening.
   I just really don't get people. Everyone says that they want to lose weight and then they do nothing to help themselves, so then obviously complaining about it will help right?!
   As for me, I can't say that I'm really upset about the slight weight gain I'm having. When I was super unhappy in Wisconsin I was dropping weight like no tomorrow. Eff that! I'm happier now then I have been in a really, really long time so I'll take Size 6/8 Happy Amber over Size 4/6 Miserable Amber any day!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Slow it down there missy!

   How many of your friends are getting engaged? Married? Having babies? Yeah all of mine too! Being with Junior, living with him, being so loved by him, that's what I think about... When are we going to get engaged!? Then I give my self a mental bitch slap and think "Why, dear, are you in such a hurry?"
   Aside from a ring on my finger and the state of Tennessee taking all of our money as Mr. and Mrs. we're as good as and when I remember that, I'm cool. There is also that little thing about me only being divorced for 4 months! (Slow it down there missy!) I feel like I'm doing a great job pushing my ex completely out of my mind and life. It feels WAY longer than 4 months!
    I don't need a ring and a sheet of (very expensive) paper to feel like I do now. Coming from me that surprises the hell out of me! I'm very ashamed to admit to my (1-2) readers that I'm all about the pretty and material things...within reason! I can't help it though!
   The love I feel for Junior when he's sitting next to me on the couch and we're eating dinner, when we're folding laundry, when he's sitting in the car behind me and I see him in the rear view, or when he walks up behind me when I'm cooking dinner, kisses me and says, "Thank You" fills my heart almost to the bursting point.
   Cohabitating, engaged or married it doesn't matter all I need is what I have right now. Anything extra would just be a bonus! He's not going anywhere and neither am I! So now I just need to give myself that little weekly pep talk when I see my friends all doing those "fun" things. The time will come when he's ready and when I'm truly ready too!

So, this is love? I never knew before him

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

You damn lying receptionist!

So yesterday after my THREE Hours in the dental chair for my root canal I got quite the surprise. Let's back track a little bit here.
   Last week when I went in for my initial appointment to complain about my sore tooth they weren't sure I needed a root canal. I had a lovely cavity that was pretty close to the nerve and the chances were slim that he could just do a filling, but I was assured that when I checked out they would do a "worst case scenario" bill work up for me. So when I went to check out after my cleaning (LOVE IT!) the receptionist lady took my insurance info and told me that I would owe them a whopping $570 on my next visit! Although if I made it in Tuesday they would take $100 off for "customer appreciation day" umm yeah, sign me up please!
   They called me Monday and asked if I could come in early as they scheduled my appointment too short. I agreed and on Tuesday I left work early, so excited for my tooth to be fixed! Obviously when I get there in the chair and he's drilling around, I needed a root canal (he needed to make his truck payment, right? Whatevs, he's really a nice dentist and I like him rather a lot.)
   I sat there for 3 freaking hours with my mouth wide open and drool running all over because of that damn dental dam, finally I'm released with my instructions (no Snickers for 3 weeks! O.M.G.) and my dosage info for Motrin. Heading up to the receptionist I start getting my wallet out for my payment when I hear the words "Ok Miss Holt it looks like your portion is $981.81" ...SKIIIIIR WHAT?! After I told her she must be mistaken, that I was quoted just 6 days ago that my "Worst Case Scenario" was $570 minus $100 for letting him drill in my head for 3 freaking hours. She pulls up my quote and says "Oh it looks like they didn't put in the root canal for the estimate"  WHAT! THE! FUCK? This is not the kind of surprise when you're sore, chubby from Novocaine, and tired from waking up at 5:30! What can you do though? I just handed over my Care Credit info and she charged $881.81 (don't forget my customer appreciation discount!)
   Head hanging low I headed to the house to be consoled by Junior. 2.5 hours later I was still numb in my cheek and absolutely starving, I decided that I needed to eat something or else I was going to DIE. I made some skillet potatoes, nice and soft, with little chance of me biting a hole in my cheek. Not long after that I gave Junior the sad face and asked him to take me to bed. I woke up this morning not too sore, just a bit where I took the shots in the cheek and my jaw from being open for 3 hours straight.
   There is a snickers bar in my desk drawer. I want it. I will however resist the urge, until at least tomorrow. I figure 24 hours to set the temp crown should be plenty. F-U-C-K giving up Snickers/Doritos/Mt. Dew it's not happening!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Am I being punished?

   I was in Florida for the weekend with Mom. She is a wedding florist, and in January she booked 4 weddings in one day in 4 locations, so she asked if I wanted to come and earn a few extra bucks and gas money? Ummm yes please! Money and quality hang time with the family, love it! I did over do it a bit though carrying bistro tables up a hill. I mean, who wants to make 3 trips? Not I friends, not I.
   Anyway back to my point I had a super weekend with the family, and came home to Junior (there isn't much better than seeing his face after being away from him all weekend) all in all it's lovely. Yesterday was an average day nothing to note other than the DOWNPOUR that not only flooded the streets, but also cleaned the bugs off my! But today, seriously it's like I'm being punished for having a wonderful weekend, and having friends come see me this weekend. Everyone in my office has something shoved up their ass, sideways, with spikes.
   It's like nothing can go right for the lady that sits behind me. She came in late (again...blah blah physical therapy...blah blah) and hasn't stopped bitching since 9am. I'm on the verge of taking a tube light bulb to my eye. So that I can leave early.
  See the light bulb there next to "Beyonce"
   If that's not enough, I have approximately 18 minutes until I have to leave for my root canal! This is so unfair! I guess if I have to deal with this crap for 2 days, this weekend has to come back at me 100% better right?! Let's hope!

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

What makes you think you're so entitled?! I mean really?

What is wrong with people? Really though what. the. hell. is wrong with people today? I am not here to cater to you, to your wife, to your children. I am here to do what is in my job description and what my boss asks me to do, yeah that's about it. I'm real sick of people, at work specifically, thinking firstly that they don't need to clean up after themselves. I don't have children at my house as I have chosen not too, so I don't clean up after kids at home, you can damn sure bet that I'm not cleaning up after gown adults at work. I'm BY FAR the youngest person in my office and I'm fairly certain the one with the most common sense!
Secondly when I plan an event (yes that's in my job description) and we are willing to pay to feed you, get you drunk and entertain you DO NOT complain, seriously don't effing do it. When we take you to the best pizza/beer place in town, organize an all you can eat buffet with different types of pizza and pasta and provide you a free bar tab and you feel the need to complain that "tomato sauce gives you heartburn" or "my wife needs something gluten free" that's too freaking bad! Eat before you come or here's a better idea, don't come...Please. Here's where I come from: I am one of the most picky people ON THE PLANET. I know when I go to an outing or get together there's a pretty huge chance that I'm not going to like what is provided to me, so 9 times outta 10 I'm going to eat before I go. Also I don't drink much, but I love me some screwdrivers. Beer though? Yea not so much, so if you don't have vodka (I'm not greedy I'll drink well) and some OJ, guess what? I'll take an ice water (not one of them fancy bottles) some tap water and ice. Water sustains life! When we have a pot luck at work, no thanks! I'll bring my lunch (seriously people are super gross! If you can't wash your hands at work where people can see you walk outta the bathroom, what are you doing in the privacy of your own home while preparing food?) and I won't even complain that everyone else gets some tasty (I use that term loosely) treats and I get a bologna sandwich and some Doritos from home.
When did things take such a turn for the worse? The army has this saying "a kinder more gentler army" that's total bullshit and it's rubbing off on everyone here. Kinder and gentler gets you beat up. Kinder and gentler turns you soft. Toughen up people seriously. Act like you're a competent human being. I'm super tired of wiping your ass, that's not what I get paid for.
Then off in another total direction I am going to smack a bitch (again) if people don't stop complaining about shit that I can't control!

<3 Ok I'm done with the hate! In my defense though I've had this post partially done since last Wednesday so I've been on material over load.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Free! To Good Home! **Update**

So I always hear people talking about how their cats are such characters. My cat Lola is an adorable little Tortoise Shell.

 My Lola when she was a baby..Awwww

 She loves Coach too!

She wasn't much of a character until recently... She was a rescue when I was living in Wisconsin at the time with my ex-husband. Our marriage wasn't great so we adopted Lola, kinda I think to give me someone else to have there to keep me company. She's the most adorable thing I swear. Like all cats though she can be such a spaz. When I moved her from WI to FL she did awesome on the 16 hour car ride. She sat still and quiet in her carrier for 8 hours a day, we smuggled her into hotel rooms and let her roam and use the litter box. When we got to Florida her pattern of shit behavior started. I left her with my Dad (at his house, where I was moving back to) in Florida while me and Mom flew to Utah to visit family. We were gone 2 days when Dad called and said that Lola had pee'd on my pillow. Ok, I get it you're mad I left you in a new place after we'd only been there 2 days, I'm sorry! Fast forward a few months and I decide to move to TN. After a month of me being there I go back to Florida and bring the animals to TN. We're there several weeks and I decide to pop down to Florida for the weekend. I leave Lola out plenty of food and a big thing of water. I get back a couple days later and there is pee everywhere on the guest bedroom bed! ARGH I left you alone again...I get it you don't like that but you  need to get over that shit! I now have a cat sitter for when I go out of town (stop laughing) who has to have a cat sitter for 2 day trips?! Me!

The ultimate sin though? That happened this morning. It's Monday, obviously I'm running late! I shower, get dressed, blah blah you know the routine, make lunch and I'm ready to head out the door. Pop back into my dressing room and grab my heels and what do I see? ...


Yeah those are my less than a year old Sperry's and my pristine white Puma's that I take such good care of! LOOK HOW WHITE THEY ARE!! That bitch is going to die. Here's the worst part I was late, as I said and it's not like I can call my boss and be like "Hai, so my cat puked on my most favorite and also expensive shoes, so I need to be late today so I can clean them up" He'd be like " ... uhh .... get to work!" So there they sit, in my closet, with cat puke on them until I get home from work tonight. It's not going to be a pretty situation when lock her in the room with me while I clean them and scream at her. not working. Anyone want a cat?


Officially I have the best boyfriend on the planet! When I finally made it home from the gym the other night, I walked in and Junior told me that he didn't fully clean my shoes as he didn't want to hurt them. He did however clean up all of the cat puke from the carpet and off/out of my shoes. Also cat puke does indeed stain white pumas.

Friday, April 27, 2012

What happened?! Now, with Pictures!

So there are lots of fun things going on right now. We are fixing up the house and have finished 2 rooms are near done with the living area downstairs (damn you icky downstairs bathroom!!) and I'm a tiny bit of crown molding as a shoe rack away from my dressing room (the second spare bedroom) being done. Yes you heard that right, Junior let me turn a spare bedroom (the larger of the two) into my own dressing room/closet! He's the best boyfriend EVER! This is why I love him so much! This weekend though we will finish up everything that will make entertaining easier. The guest bedroom needs one more picture hung, the down stairs needs the components put into the beautiful floating entertainment center. It's all very exciting! I just wish I had pictures of the basement before we re-finished it. Picture this: lovely burnt orange colored carpeting, wood paneling painted grey, and the faint musty smell of "Chevy" the lab that lived down there with her owner a few months prior to me moving in. Every night I go home hoping to relax a little and end up working on the house, and by the end of the night we are completely exhausted! Thank goodness that we are damn near done, as my bank account really is dunzo! At least we can have a fun beautiful place to be poor and hang out!
Next thing... OMG my legs are KILLING ME!! I decided that since my prized size 6 jeans (I was a 10/12 this time last year) were getting a little too tight it's work out time! Ugh. 3 days ago I used the hip machine, this thing does like 8 different exercises on one machine! Anyway I exercised the heck out of my legs and yes 3 days later, I feel like someone punched me repeatedly on my thighs and where my dancers dimple is! My legs hurting this bad means no gym and that means no burning calories! No bueno!
Hopefully I can get some pics up soon of the house being all beautiful and such!

Until next time!
<3 Amber



 Custom entertainment center by Junior
 "Man Things" Shiny New Drums and Gun Safe
 My Dressing Room with Great-Grandma Reynolds' Vanity!
 My heels are up and off the floor! Thank God!
 Upstairs with my cat (she loves to jump in pictures)

Monday, April 23, 2012

Oh Joffrey, How I wish I could squish your little head with my heels

Lets talk for a few minutes about Game of Thrones. Please tell me that you love it as much as I do! If you don't know what the heck I'm talking about please educate yourself (Here and Here) about how fantastic this series is.  I'll wait ... ... ...  You're Welcome! Ok, moving on. First a big thank you to Junior for hooking me on this show, just what I need, another series that if I miss it I just want to die. Ok seriously it's time to talk about this little evil fucker Joffrey on the show. Last night he makes me think that he's going to kill his wonderful little Stark Bride-To-Be Sansa Thank goodness Tyrion comes in a belittles that little turd and has her led away to safety. THEN Tyrion figures that the adolescent has some "pent up aggression" so he sends him some whores (what an awesome uncle) and instead of taking his stress out on them he has one beat the other to death while he watches...WTF!? Junior thinks it's the inbreeding...Good point darling, you're probably right. I know that it's real sad to want a character on a show dead, but wow the writers on that show just know how to push you over the edge with him. We are currently taking bets on who is going to snap and slit Joffrey's throat. My bet is on Sansa getting pushed just a little to far and taking an opportunity to ram a dagger into him. Maybe his slut of a mom could do it, as evil as she is I think him slaughtering the babies of the city irked her. Anyway I don't care who does it, but someone should! STAT! Every Sunday at 8pm I'll be watching, waiting for his death, so please, I beg of you don't call or text during that hour. 

For your entertainment you can click here to see a YouTube video of Joffrey getting slapped for 10 minutes by Tyrion. It's highly amusing to leave it playing off to the side of your screen so you can catch a glimpse of it every so often and chuckle. 

Friday, April 20, 2012

Deep breaths will save my (and your) life.

This week has been ridiculous in the "I've had it up to here and the next person that whines at/near/around my desk I will fucking strangle your ass" kind of way. Most days people will bitch and I can just smile, nod and throw out a non-committal "uh-huh." This week, not so much. I had to take every ounce of my being to not bitch slap people. Luckily this was only at work, so Junior was totally safe. For example a lady at work came in late, about 10:30 probably and did nothing but complain and bitch for 3 straight hours! HOW IS YOUR LIFE THAT BAD!? THREE HOURS! You missed 3.5 hours of work by choice! Today is Friday and my mood has very much improved, thank you Mr. Weekend!

Monday, April 16, 2012

Super Awkward

So working back on the compound has been 97% awesome! Back to being able to see the people I missed so much while I was gone. Working 2 hangars away from Junior. Have a cake easy job. There is that 3% though that is so awkward! Back-story: I initially got a job working on the compound in 2009 working for DynCorp via a friend who write contracts for the unit that I met through my ex husband (the d-bag.) Really most of the time, it's not what you know, it's who you know. The d-bag was in the army at the time stationed here at Fort Campbell, he worked at the hangar next to mine and a lot of people knew him and me. So now a few times per month I run into someone who knew me as Mrs. Chewy (normally that's what they call me also) and have to explain to them that we're divorced and he's still going to school in another state. Then I get the whole "Oh man I'm so sorry" to which I normally want to say "It's ok I'm totally better off without that douche" but I just smile politely and tell them it's ok and it really is the best for both of us. Still though 3 months after the divorce was finalized and 8 months of being separated it's still a super awkward conversation that I don't enjoy having. If I only have to deal with 3% awkward though, I guess it's totally worth it. I really am happier than ever and am just enjoying my life.

Really though who wouldn't love this being their life?!
 Preparing a good bye speech

 Bye Jeff, we'll miss you!

 Gary, you are such a good window cleaner, Thank You!

 The Ladies of SOATC

 Some of my SOATC favorites

My SOATC favorite! This is how we roll

Friday, April 6, 2012

First Wold Problem

So today we're going to talk about my job. Why I love it normally, what could be better and today why I hate it! I currently work for Boeing & Sikorsky in their joint venture for the 160th at Fort Campbell. I know that sounds all super swoopy and important, but I'm an admin. Yeah I answer phones mostly. I sit at a desk in the front of our "building" (I use that term loosely, another day another post though) with another lady and greet people that come in, answer phones, kinda what ever needs to be done. Mostly though I blog, check Facebook, play DrawSomething (AmberLHolt look me up) with my mom, and talk to the people that don't annoy the shit outta me (I stare hard at my monitor trying to ignore them when a creeper comes up to my desk...rarely does it work though)

CHECK! Winner, right here!

There are some miscellaneous things I have to do each week too, like keep our food store stocked, order supplies, escort people onto our compound, and entertain my co-workers. Pretty awesome I think, with a not too shabby wage. There are a couple things that I need changed ASAP! I'm a smart girl, I can multitask like a champ, and pressure? Totally love it! So I need some more responsibilities! When I worked on the compound last time I took a job that a monkey could do in his sleep (except the lady before me, she was an effing moron! Good thing though, yay job for me!) and added like 10 things to my plate. People came to me for everything and I LOVED IT! They needed help with training... "Let's go see Amber" They needed a tool box inventory typed... "Let's go see Amber" They needed someone to drive them to the airport ... "Let's go see Amber"  They needed to bitch about their wives ... "Let's go see Amber" It was the best! Here though? Not so much. While it is nice to have a super easy job, sometimes it blows! I'm fairly certain on Wednesday I actually got the the end of Pinterest! It does exist I swear! Oh lets not forget the seven books I've read just while at work since January, you think I kid...3 Chelsea Handler Books, "White Girl Problems", "The First Husband", "Breaking Dawn", "I Hate Everyone (and other atrocious lies)" yeah that's 7! Thank god for the Kindle and it's many reading apps.

This brings us to today, and probably about 7 other days per year. Today is Good Friday and it's a DONSA for the Army and many of the other contractors. We, however, are working with 1 other company and that's it! There is NOTHING GOING ON TODAY! Looking out in our parking lot that we share with another hangar there is 15 cars. What makes it worse though is knowing that I'm sitting here doing, not a damn thing when I could be packing and leaving for Florida. Oh Florida how I long to see you!

I know it's super shitty to be complaining when I have a job and there are so many others that don't, but ... but...

Until next time

<3 Amber

Monday, April 2, 2012

I am such a dumb ass

Who loves boats? ME! I DO! Who thinks they're too bad ass to wear sunscreen out on the first outing of the year? ME! I AM! Why do we  I do this? Every Spring/Summer I go out to the Beach/Bay/Lake/Water Source and don't apply any sun screen and end up with a awesome (read:painful) sunburn.
 Backstory- It's Sunday and it's b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l outside 85* and fluffy white clouds. We are on our way to Kentucky Lake to run Juniors boat to ensure it's good to go for the season. After the boat gets unloaded and on the water, we are off! Our friend Jerry came also to show us the ropes. I guess I should say to show Junior where shallow spots, good and bad areas. Oh by the way during the Winter Pool (before they allow the dam to add water to the lake) the water is super shallow and rocks will fuck up an aluminum propeller.  So they're Captaining and Navigating and I'm lounging in the sun between fluffy clouds. After lunch at Fat Daddy's (wow that place is a confidence booster) we went to the other side of the lake and decided it was time to float. I think this is where things went really wrong. Sitting on the sun deck, listening to music and enjoying the company time just slipped away. I think we sat there for probably an hour with the bright beautiful sun bouncing off the lake. I was a nice light pink...for now. After the hour drive home and putting the boat away I was a nice shade of lobster red. It wasn't really warm enough for a bikini so to top it off, I now have a farmers tan from the shorts and tank top I was wearing. I guess one could think that this is a small blessing one less place I'm super red! So will I learn? Doubtful! Will I wear sunscreen next year? Probably Not... Will I wear it next time on the boat? For sure!

Aren't we the cutest?! The answer is yes!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012


So about 6-8 months ago I decided that it probably wasn't a good time for me to be having children. I did some research and talked to my doctor and decided on an under skin implant called Implanon. I tried looking info up on the procedure, side effects, whatever I could find and I really came up short on any info other than from the manufacturer. So I thought I'd share my experience.

This is how my arm looks today, 3ish weeks after the procedure.

Here starts my implant journey. My doc scheduled me to come in for an office procedure. I was told that the numbing of my arm for the insertion would hurt the most of anything which would be minor burning and the poke of the needles. Let me tell you this was indeed the worst part it burned like a son-of-a-gun. It's a super tender part of your arm so of course it's going to be pretty uncomfortable. It took me a while to numb up (this happens at the dentist also) so they had to numb me twice. After she got me numb it took about 2 minutes for the insertion of the implant. I didn't watch this part, as the needle that they use is quite large and scary looking. When it was inserted she had me feel the implant under the skin so that I knew where it was and what it felt like. Then they placed a wad of gauze over the insertion site then covered it with an bandaid. They also wrapped my arm in gauze in a pressure bandage to stop the bleeding.

Cute right? How to accessorize this?

The wrap had to stay on for at least 24 hours and wasn't to get wet. (When I showered the next morning before work, I cut a rounded hole in a quart size sandwich bag and put my arm through securing it with a hair tie. It worked pretty well. To keep splashing to a minimum I kept my arm up by holding on to the shower rod.) On the way back home the numbing meds started to wear off so it was throbbing quite a bit but a couple tylenol took care of that. I didn't have any problems sleeping which I think is a miracle since I like to lay on my arms at night. The next morning after my shower I did need another set of pain relievers with breakfast. At 4:00pm I got to take my bandages off, and since Junior was TDY, I enlisted some help from someone at work.

24 Hours later (it was a little bleedy)

The doctor did warn that there would be significant bruising. I mean, that was a pretty invasive procedure if you think about it. The two very blue dots are marker where the insert started and stopped under the skin. When I got home and took off my cardigan my bandaid came with it so here's what it looked like later that night.
That bandaid was super harsh! I'm still missing skin from the removal

I had to keep a bandaid over the hole for 5 days so that it would close and heal properly. The little circle bandaids worked great!

Day 3 - The swelling was coming down a lot and you can see the implant a little.

I think this was when it the tenderness really started to subside. When I pressed against it, obviously it hurt, or rested my arm on my truck window letting my arm get some air wowzer that was painful. It really looks worse than it felt.

Day 5 - No more bandaids!

It's pretty clear that there is something in my arm here! The bruising is nearly gone now and the only time it really hurts is if there is pressure on the implant. I went out with some friends and one grabbed a hold of my arm and that hurt pretty good, but that's about it.

Day 7 - Yeah the missing skin looks really cute, I know!

So that's about it. I really would recommend this implant to anyone that's looking for long'ish term birth control. I'm going to have to have it removed in 3 years and get a new one. From what I'm told they will take a surgical knife and make a slit in my arm, pull the old one out and insert a new one. The whole ordeal costs me $45 (my copay) and covers the insertion and removal. I hope this has found someone and helped them understand what Implanon is and what the process involves!

One a much lighter side people get super grossed out when they notice the implant and ask about it. It's even better when I grab it and move it around a little they're super grossed out and start gagging. I think it's fun ;)

The OFFICIAL Site for the Implanon Implant: